Welcome to the oh so spastic and retarded blog!!
dedicated to triple and dual posts.
Enjoy the rubbish!!
and tag.
now.
quick.
i say TAG
oh wait.
read first.
=D
+ About US +
profile
*CAROL*(red) aka Xiaohui, [Last Requiem]ahrol, rolrol by zijin
NYGH
16
Ex-Riflist of Nyshooting School Team 17071992
Lame Little, Mad Little,Complicated Little Weird little Trng Girl
GIRL GONE WILD
~ZIJIN~(dark blue) aka Tissue-the-great-idito!AHZAN/wuzan/laopo by shiing.
NYGH
sweet 16 already yay!!
Riflist, School Team 11041992
Hyper High Huggable Highly Abnormal Randomization Queen
HELPLESS BASKETCASE
[shiing](orange) aka Muachee,darling by eening, laopo/taymua/ahmua by zijin
16
Riflist, School Team 17121992
Clumsy Accident Prone*ouch* Madly Nice Crazy Party Girl(Hyper after 9:30pm) MUACHEE~EXTRA NUTS,EXTRA SUGAR,EXTRA CUTE!
^^Ee Ning^^(blue green) aka darling(by shi ing) and OOINING by carol and mr tan.
16
Riflist'06.Pistolist '08
22121992
Pokable Pokie Pig who likes to Poke Ppl.
HYPER,HUGGABLE,HONEYED CUTIE PIE
I SHALL BLOG :D But uh.it's just spamming random videos cause my blog cant feature videos cause the skin sucks.=.=.
ANYBAND!<3 Talk,Play Love Lovelove this song :D The meaning behind it is good lor.. Not to mention Boa's freaking hawt and tablo's so OMGAHHH <3 and XIAHHHH <3 and BORA'S PIANO SKILLSSSS.<3 Okay ignore that last sentence.HAHA.
XMANNN :D Haha or Dangyunhaji. DBSK ones are freaking hilarious.xD. "Flowers..Whatever" xDDDD
AND THIS IS SO CUTE HAHA <3
Okay i think i shouldnt spam too many vids. :P :P
HMMM. Block tests are over. But SIAs are due soon. ): Stupid school.. And the stupid "Eating of food is only allowed on the 1st floor" rule. Lousai. Ohwells.=.=. Shall go watch some more vids and do work later (maybe). :D
Oh and im not changing the colour font and stuff cause if i switch over to compose the videos will get screwed D: Sorry :x
mua..i noe u r toking about me in ur post. (okay if i dunno u will slap me) which is like. okay i noe i haven been going for trnings and im not going to find myself any excuse cos its true tat i dun feel like trning i think my attitude is getting wrong.. but still. anyway no matter wad i give u my word i will work hard for nationals i noe u r tired maybe more tired den the rest but its not like all other ppl r living a good life i was never good at juggling my academics and shooting like last year i worked so hard for my cca i achieved a lot yes i noe but i gave up a lot too. seriously u wasnt the one to receive my report book last year like. u dun get the shock of it. somemore my mum. aiya u noe my problems with my mum so its like.. ya. maybe u will feel neglected or sth but i dun think our bonds r just there for the cca onli rite?
but anyway those stuff aside TISSUE IS VERI HAPPEH~ cos she onli died for physics but she survived chem~ lalalalalalalalalaa and i got like. quite high for my english YAY~ okay okay good good. hopefully maths and bio dun die.
oh recently tissue is listening to tis song called superman by caoge ITS SO CUTE LAR I LIKE THE SONG go go listen everyone hahaha today on the bus back home i was like listening to tat song together with minmin den when the word SUPERMAN come out we were like. -do superman flying pose- hahahahahahaha lucky we sit at the back of the bus if not super throw face wait supposedly i got a lot of things to post one so shall wait till someday until my brain is out of the exam mode already
YAY CYA PPL~ mua..if u wan to say sth u can always tok to me directly =D
not that my tests didnt go well. it went ok. not that training didnt go well. just a couple of slips. but im utterly disappointed. and tired of having to tire myself out with these problems. why am i worrying about a team/teammates when im the only one worrying..
youre so different from last year. do you even feel that i going to break le? cause im quite sure you can feel it but you really just couldnt be bothered. youre just leaving me there to hang on my own. thanks ah. really. if you could see my worries, my sadness and my disappointment. youd realise. i really love and care about you. theres no past tense involved..i still do.
i cant get on with training when im worrying whether you will turn up, or whether she is ok. i dont feel any motivation at all. because i really feel neglected. and that noone really cares anw. last year at least we had a dream. ah, happy while it lasted. in the midst of trying to gather all the pieces and push everyone else..i go crazy
on a side note.. darling, i know we've closed up alot in the past two years, but i still hope you know that i love you as always =) i really need goodfriends and darlings like you... i really need retail therapy now with everything buzzing past too. haha loves
nothing's going right.. and everything's a mess. to me.
hai. just when i was just looking at the photos.. jiayou ok? <3> anw he's a jerk so btr that you break now rather than even later or else pain even more..if i go back and see his face i'll rip it up and bash him ok? cause i know you bu ren xin do it. hahaha haii im always near you even though we're so far apart. just like just now.. youre strong so jiayou =)
about shooting. about studies. about shiing. its so tempting to give up. like. right now. drop it. drop down and die. how to? teach me? =( i think after you teach me i'll still be so stupid and not let go of all the reins, thinking that im doing the right thing yah i think i should fight. and you guys always see me fighting the hell out of my problems. like some crazy idiot. but why do they nv go away? haha ok stupid question. delete it.
i was planning my term two schedule ytd. omg la! shooting only already SO MANY dates to rmb. so many things to remind so many ppl. and here i have people who are not angry with me, but with the school system. so dont vent it on me ok? if i could have the choice of NOT doing quotation who would wanna do la. just buy and zao right? save time. thanks la. in ny you HAVE to do quotation BEFORE getting the damnit stuff. please dont vent anger on me when i dont deserve it. =) you said sorry but the words you said. theyve done their damage. and ive got people who are suffering from adapting problems. and its sad ok. friday eat lunch with you i almost died when i saw your hand sec three very tough but must fight! and youre gonna tell me you giving up. dno how to quan4 you already. bt im always here if you need me. dont be so foolish ok? everyone else is fighting so you should too. <33 still waiting to see the full potential of the bdiv teams. jiayou cdiv <33 many many things to do. tests to handle. tests are easy to handle. GRADES arent. esp when its last year in ny. pfft. nevertheless im not gonna stop working for nyshooting. cause i think its worth it. worth all the phone bills and long conversations and planning with mrsamyy. struggling with confidence problems. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i need to be more confident of my trigger and my stupid finger if not im gonna die. i need to be more careful of my stupid right foot boot cause of the stupid bend. but ohwells. my fault i didnt notice. new boots anyone? noone. why? cause we've to SCRIMP and SAVE for the stupid KOMPRESSOR. so please stop telling us to buy buy buy buy buy. you think we money machine ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ok.. hai. busy every week, every two three days. have to do something..hand up some report.. do some presentation... some shooting event...blah. these few months gonna be crazy with shooting firing up into FULL MAX CRAZY gear.. and all the projects due like dno what nuts.. shiaaaaaaaaaaaaa im ranting like dno what now................ just ignore my posts if theyre in black ok? dont feel like writing in my diary cause holding a pen is very scary hahahah. after all that mugging. sometimes i just feel tht i have no goal. no end. no specific expectation. so i dno what im working for. and then i feel like giving up. then i blog and so many ppl pop up into my mind.. and like now, im thinking.. why the hell am i trying to give up. blogging gives me such a great sense of accomplishment sometimes. helps me to clear my thoughts and get back on track cause im like talking to myself haha... those sandbags piled on my back labelled "shooting" "As" "no time" "many things to do" "SIAs" "presentations".. theyre only gonna get heavier this term every string attached to my body is gonna pull me up straight even when i have no energy. i can just drop all of them right now and stop walking..more over.. i dont even know where im walking towards.. but i think i'll regret.. so i shall give all i can.. and see how it goes. i miss kaiyun... xinxi...xinmei......theyve always took care of us like dno what and everytime i have problems i will always find ahgu... this year must take over their role and jiayou the juniors.. but i still miss them =( i miss safra like nuts too losing all the contacts le haha nvm.. we'll be going back soon.. i know alot of ppl miss alot of ppl and times are different but try to recover from withdrawal symptoms ok? ^^ hahaha..im suffering from withdrawal symptoms too..lol..times are so different.....
WHEEEEEEE tissue is like veri happy today cos many events tok place.. AT LEAST IM GOING TO GET MY SUIT. and i think the hc range really stinks. anyway! today after trning coach was like TAT 2 WHO NEEDS TO DO PUSH UP QUICKLY DO NOW den i duno wad got into me (im not one of the 2) (if not i will die) i turned around den say sth like hahahaha coach but u onli gave one person prize but u punish two leh. its not fair! den coach was like -stun- with a bit lost for words budden got a veri amused look shiing super high about the statement i made so she high five with me. SO RANDOM.
after tat went to kap to mugggggg GUESS WHO I SEE?! i met ahgu ahmei and mummy!! they were doing sth.. which i wont divulge jus in case its meant to be a secret. COUGHCOUGH. and i met weichuan the cotton tooooo he was with tis fren whos like at least 5 heads taller den him (okay not tat tall lar) eating happily in kap macdonalds and i was coming up with tis theory tat with a tall fren comes a taller fren. so rite. MUACHEE EENING AND MY LAOPOS!! dun worry =D one day u all will be taller den me okay i think i shall stick more with yuanyi tat woman. 177 cm wth is she eating everyday
i was mugging chem the redox reactions with baikah when suddenly got one qn we need to refer to the notes den its like -a set of notes gone- the thing is tat we just put it down 1 minute ago -panicpanic- tissue: eh do u think it dropped onto the floor? baikah: maybe leh -stands up and look around- tissue: omg dun have. OMG DID U SEE ANY MACDONALD AUNTY WALK PAST? baikah: eeeeeerrrrh.. maybe? tissue: okay die already. quick u got any rubbish to throw or not? baikah: ?! tissue: i need to throw it so tat i got excuse to push open the dustbin thing okay so tissue went and throw the rubbish peering into the black plastic bag.. I SEE MY BELOVED NOTES >< wah seriously the auntie dam convenient. so tissue panic. tissue: HAHAHAHAHAHA OMG HOW!! ITS REALLY IN THE BIN baikah: HUH?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG -continue laughing for like 5 minutes- tissue: hahahah cannot cannot i go get help -ran towards ahgu's table- -no idea how to get it out- suddenly by the time i come back. the notes is on the table again. baikah was smiling brightly okay so she went to take it back from the bin. lol i admire her courage. anyway after the notes r back we treat it with utmost care. its like. dun dare to anyhow put near the table rim and dun dare to touch it with the whole hand but lucky at least dun have ketchup/chilli sauce all over it
so mugging halfway i exploited ahmei since she got nth much to do so she was busy teaching me and baikah chem and tat hopeless case sought help from mummy instead wth still whole day say our stuff so chicken #*^#%@ den i was asking her to help me with tis maths qn before i handed her the worksheet she saw the paper which is filled with log ln log ln qns so shes like OH MY MATHS IS GOOD BUT MY LOG LN LOG LN SUCKS den i was like: eh no its surds =D xinmei: AH MY SURDS SUCKED AS WELL fine. okay but at least she manage to get the answer hahahahahahaha SO CUTE THE 3 OF THEM
suddenly ahgu popped her head out from nowhere den shes like TISSUE I TELL U A JOKE. okay. ahgu: okay tell me 3 similarities between michael jackson and nintendo wii tissue: eh. all fake? ahgu: 1. they r all white on the outside but black on the inside tissue: =.- ahgu: 2. they r all made of plastic tissue: ... ahgu: 3. children turns them on
-silence for 3 seconds-
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA okay the 4 of us laughed like madwoman a bit no image but who cares nobody noes us in macdonals anyway hahahahahahaha
den after tat when tissue left macs i forgot to say byebye to the 3 of them so i smsed mummy on the bus tissue: omg sorry i forgot to say byebye!! SORRY. help me say byebye and sorry to ahgu and ahmei as well mummy: oh good u realised. we were jus scolding u. but haven curse yet tissue: !! sorry sorry lar.. mummy: hahaha its okay lar. nxt time mus remember! tissue: actually u can take it tat i dun wan to say bye to u all COS IF NOT I WILL MISS U ALL TERRIBLY mummy: ..veri politically right answer. but ahgu is touched. baikah is veri amused by them..
oh and baikah accidentally became my 6th laopo due to her carelessness tissue: eh laopo later remember to send me the chem stuff baikah: okay. tissue: =D =D baikah: oh sugar. YAY I TOLD U IM GOING TO GET THE 6TH LAOPO SOON. MUACKS TO ALL MY LAOPOS~ SOON I WILL HAVE MORE LAOPOS DEN WEI XIAO BAO (duke of mount deer)
today woke up with a heart attack. like. freak! ive been so scared that one day it'll happen and today it happened. set me thinking about the future AGAIN. in the morning. =[
"take care, we're going already" "mm.." -snuggles off under blanket- -half awake.. thinks.. just like every other sentence she says.. wonders if it'll be the last thing i'll hear.. registers into brain.. brain says "no it wont happen today".. snuggles off to bed again.socold.-
hears footsteps walking down the stairs. BONG. "oh sh*t!" "OMG!" i kind of realised what happened.. woke up INSTANTLY. thinking. omfg. a nervous silence running through the house. hai....
our hearts were all barely hanging. she also abit tio shock. eesh. heart attacks.... ------------------------------------------------------------------------- my nose is running for marathon *-* used one whole box of tissues! -cries- still got one pile of hw to do.. ive been clearing the hw pile these two days but why like only half gone! sigh. tmr back to mugging. heck hw le. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- haha i kind of realised exactly how much confidence i have in myself to pull the trigger. so. how do you build confidence without crossing arrogance? ------------------------------------------------------------------------- i learned this from cherie during graces is death the opposite of life? no. its is the absence of life. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- sad sad. when will the rain stoppppp. like for a long long time.. not stop then start.. does not like rain... =( ------------------------------------------------------------------------- "如果说，有什么让我难过的，就是你假装不认识我，我假装不认识你.." -Dialogue..Jolin jiazhuang mv- ------------------------------------------------------------------------- im being so random again.. eesh. tmr got training... hai. how i wish i know a person who can read my mind! *-* feel so bored. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- someone just read my mind after i finished. omg. sms so zhun4! -------------------------------------------------------------------------
eeyer. mua sorry lor. >< i say sorry so many times already u still like tat.. TISSUE SAD SAD U NOE! okay =D
hahahahaahha mugging is fun! (omg) okay no im jking how could mugging ever be fun. made chiobu wait for 1 hr.. made banana and mark waited for 3 hrs HAHAHAHA okay tissue and muachee r bigshots. chiobu look so cute lar omg the hair and the specs hahahahaha so studious.
trning was so confidence-boosting yesterday! tissue shot an 89 series without suit! hahahahahahahaha not bad not bad. den its like if i dun shuai as much a trigger firm a bit more.. i will get 91 series! so happeh~ so hopefully when i get my suit (which is dunno when) i will shoot 98 series HAHAHAHAHAAH OMG okay nvm =D wheeeeeee finals is so exciting i shall go cca on friday cos got finals LALALALALA
eh seriously life is so boring recently cos of intense mugging (okay not so intense for me) budden still theres nth much to do. I HAVEN WATCH MY CJ7. MY STEPHEN CHOWWWWWW okay its okay i shall wait for the dvd. graces camp a bit too long to talk about. HAHA. okay im lazy i shall go sleep already i woke up at 8 tis morning. to do maths with ham. wow. dammit tissue is crazy (actually tis post is jus to shed some blue light to the blog)
not fun to get rammed by zijin! seriously./. now i sneeze/bend down/stretch upwards SOOO pain. buey tahan. why must i feel the effects only when i reach home.
you see the bus braked, she fell (as usual her sense of balance abit off HAHA), ON ME, WHAMBAM we hit the chair, she get up, trying to balance, brake again, BANG double hit. wow i looooooooooooooove you. =(((((((((((((((((((((( jiumingahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
suffering from side effects *-* AND i havent suan zhang with you okkkkkkkk. i your teammate three four years le hahahhaha i know what youre thinking! -stares-
omg ive been studying alot but ive not been doing work. AHHHH. now someone saveeee meeee
btw.. missyousomuch. youre the reason for the teardrops on my guitar..(though i stopped playing the guitar like thousands of years ago..hahahaha) memory hurts.
super random post but today's rainy and i feeel super. super. super sad. =[ and then when i was sad i sneezed so i felt the pain. and when i felt the pain i thought of zijin and felt like bian3-ing her. and after that i looked at my work and saw nothing done, other than stuffing my brain. and i looked at the rain, tired of studying, and thought of you. which is making me feel even worse. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
today i read the newspapers. yes. i did. after how many days at camp. ah so disappointing the terrorist havent get caught yet. anws. saw the a level results! theyre quite good right? i guess. heh
last night i smsed joanna. her results really quite zai lehhh chiobu also not bad. all the A kias. i told you shooters are smart..dont believe me hahaha today i read the new paper too! then there was this jc boy who got rejected by seven jcs but in the end still topped arts in pjc. thats cool too.. sill got one in acjc got cancer then fight until got two or 3 As i think... zai lor! seeing so many ppl around me do well. ahhhss. jiayou me. i really really really dont wanna go jc and take up a space as a science student. REALLY. if i cannot make it to the arts cause of my stupid ih marks THIS year then nvm. i shall take mixed or languages. science.. really really dont like. ohwells. i can do better for my ih! like. alot btr. how i wish msong was still my teacher!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kayys.
im not a very open person. i dont go around making friends with everybody and telling them my story. im hesitant to the idea of opening up. cause its just scary. through many many school years and many many ppl i meet.. many good friends have walked away because they probably couldnt figure out why i had so many things that ikept from them. they never really know about it, but theyy know im hiding lots of stuff. so many ppl have walked away.. finding new close friends. i have never chased them back. cause i know if they understood theyd have walked back on their own.. i didnt wanna chase them back, and yet keep stuff from them, and making them feel like theyre nothing so i just let them go..but they just think i dont care. ah wells. i really hope that one day someone would really understand who i am. deep down inside. and accept that i really have crazy personalities. how i wish chiobu could turn into a girl.. a nanyang girl.. so sad and comforting how chiobu always smses me every fortnight or something cause he's the first friend who hasnt walked away despite knowing i have many many secrets that i refuse to say. its not like i dont wanna say.. i dont know how.
until then.. jiayou me! i want to work for my arts stream and our medals at nationals! jiayoujiayou! =] dont worry we'll do it at the end of the day.. cause we're ny girls! even if we dont, im sure we'll put up a great fight. ^^v
-im waiting for you so must quick quick get well from being emo.. =]
been unhappy for the whole of last night slept at.. ah.. horrible hour. anightofemosongs. dno why.. from that topic.. link link link to lingling.. link to ahma..yeeyong..then you.. and then it linked to mark(jc), and oppa.. and weirong.. and then it linked back to obs kids.. the sec twos.. eening.. zijin.. amy.. then it linked to me. and i realised.
as always. i always allow only one day to mourn. if i can put it in that way. then its just. anything to get up again..antidepressants. haha.. helps when eening reassures me.. ah.. loves.
well after mourning for one night went back to school.. saw my stupid stupid ih assignment. bang. my day gone le. just when i wanted to transfer from science stream to arts stream.. and do something i have interest in.. wham bam double blow from ih essays. omg. havent gotten those marks since like sec two. eesh -slaps- (the table)
just reminds me that i might be better at stuff i dont like after all..like maths and chem eeyer..
still hope youd call, youd talk.. but if youre not going to.. or not ready. im fine. cause i know you'll get back after thinking through i know.. that if i force my way into your brain by talking and talking when you dont feel like listening.. you wont get what i mean.. and then it'll get worse. i'll be waiting for you to come back.. =] whenever youve settled.
been drawing the star on my hand again. ahh... ink poisoning. but it reminds me of her spirit. of being strong.. reason why i love avril haha.
today and on are brand new days. for me to grab and make the club better. i'll grab them. i'll make sure we do our best. because nanyang shooters CAN ShOOT. they just need confidence. right? stupid trend in us, lala we'll get over it.
many problems to settle.. esp attitude wise with ppl who have really pfft-ed..
its not easy. but as long as i know im alone, we'll try.
btw. thank you. i will. sometimes you dont look like youre in pain, but to other ppl like us.. we feel the pain. ppl may seem like they couldnt give a damn about you. but others really do care. jiayou. iguessicanonlysaythistoyouguys: stop running in parallels...
gonna be honest, downright straight. i wanna talk can we talk? i know youve been avoiding my calls, my smses. maybe you werent avoiding. you always say you werent by the phone. ive always knew, but just like how you tolerated me, i tolerated, and chose to believe you were really busy. cause sometimes you are. but please. just pick up my call. i believe youre currently very demoralised. i just wanna talk to you. dont shut me out cause you know i'll ask you to train, to get back on. dont shut me out cause even if i dont remind you of your responsibilities as a role model for the club(yes i know you gonna crap me), i wanna be there for you as a friend. weve always known when we're both sad. can you just let me in for awhile? pick up my phone. im going crazy. if you dont pick up or dont talk to me about your problems i'll go crazy cause i know i cant pretend youre not sad. maybe its the suit. maybe its carol. maybe its the big star we've lost and probably to gold medal we've lost along with it. maybe its cause of these that youve lost motivation. or maybe cause you lost your faith in me. look through the book. i may have forgot what ive written. but i rmb i wrote meaningful stuff. gosh im actly tearing. you know how hard it is for me to tear right? i really wanna be there for you. dont avoid me. about her, im sad too. affected. wasnt as close to her as you. but still. i need you now too. im super super stressed. can you two just help me? i dont ask for alot. i just ask of you two, to take care of the effing _______taking. and the boot sizes thing. understand that when you two choose to run away, im left to do what youre supposed to do, on top of my stuff as a captain. dont run away. im stressed, ok? i know you guys are too, just. yah. you get it.
i go to every training, thinking of how i can shoot higher, meet the school's calling. how to fill in the empty hole that im unable to fill. but i try everything i can. im trying. every training i go to the range thinking how i can get ____ out of self demotivation, how to get you to believe in the team, or even me. i think of how i can get eening to stop being hesitant under comp pressure. i dont have the answers. im not god. im not coach. im not anyone. im just very sad right now. that youve lost your faith in me. that ive lost your trust, and you dont confide in me anymore.
im stressed cause ive to study. everyone has to, right? ive to catch up with everyone else. do my job as captain, running everywhere, calling chye wat seng, george keenly, running to safra, taking care of sec ones, make sure the sec twos are fine... ive been losing time that i prayed for. zijin, eening. i prayed for time when she was there in icu. i promised to spend alot more time and be more grateful. god decided to give me a second chance. but till today, i still think im not there yet. shes sad. shes bored. shes emotional.
i cant take so many responsibilities 24 hours a day. please help me. and let me help you if you need it.
i refuse to cry. to give up. i refuse. because ppl like rachel and the sec twos look up to us as role models. leaders. its not easy. but i dont wanna give up. and i cant do it without you two.
i hope you can hear me. im shiing. beneath all the nypositions,andshit. the shiing youve always known.
D: i need my heels. damn. even if i get heels i'll still be damn short amongst the other girls lah. omgg. D: nevermind. short is cute.-smiles kawaii-ishly- (: -pukes- okay ignore me. GRACESSSSSSSSSS THIS WEDNESDAY. AHHHHHH! -pushes makeup away- ): tell me why girls have to put makeup again. sigh. on a brighter note, at least we'll get to see people like liuyi,eva and yadayada wearing dresses and heels. :D :D :D yay better arm myself with a camera. eh zijin i hate you lah. why buy 4inches one D: make me feel even shorter lor. and how come i dont see you during training periods le.))): boohoo.
shall go get my heels tomorrow. and joanne's coming with me. :D yay loves mojojojo <3 im rambling on and on. boredddddddddd. and i refuse to touch my homework. math is annoying me. my answers dont tally with the answers given. differentiation go and die you D: this sucks. BOO.
