its only the first week of 2009 and i already feel like dyingahhhhseriously my shooting has been so screwed for the past week.inclusive of monday's training, tuesday's training, and today's training.basically every training ever since i came backomg not like i was pro before i flew off but it wasnt this bad!ok i think you get my desperationseriously its like a super bad start to 2009i cant imagine shooting like this for the whole of o9 like its a cursei'll just die.AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-freaks out-so screwed. so screwed.and seriously having monthlies right after new year is :Oggim totally gonna screw upseriously training has become so bad that i am conscious that im doing the wrong things but my unconscious brain just keeps being retarded and slow and refuses to register that im doing the wrong thing and continue to do the wrong thinghow screwed is that?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!dont need to say i also know. its VERY screwed.-faints-coach is like. speechless after trainings HAHAim speechless also. either speechless, irritated, tired, or just feel like dying on the spot. i really feel like melting into the ground sometimes and BURN my cards HAHAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHi seriously need to scream. thank god we going to kbox tmromg spam emo HAHA look at the number of seriouslys i have typed.its like. overwhelming.seriously i have a problem with vocab right now its so limited cause my brain is in a flustered state. actually not only my brain my whole body is flustered no wonder i shiver like crazy during trainings pfftand im blabbering off on the blog now nonstop cause im so frustrated i have to get it out of my system AHHH destress.im still blabberingok i shall stop. lets talk about my dreams!omg i was jsut telling zijin today about my nightmare last night'it started off very ncie and happy with me being in BRUNEI in an unknown house celebrating my birthday (so many houses in brunei to choose from but pianpian it was an unknown house =.=):D got cake. but the cake was like.. half water half jelly. my first reaction when i saw the cake was :s but everyone acted normal, like the cake was really ok and nice, so i thought the cake was very nice too HAHAHA i can convince myself so easily.then after that everyone was playing and suddenly i was standing in MY ROOM, in MY HOUSE, in SINGAPORE. omg freakkkkkkand then suddenly everyone started screamingand then everyone chionged out to play with SNOW.and then someone i know came over to talk to me -i forgot who- then i was like "yah see they play until so damn happy sia its like singapore got snow" and then i looked out the window (in my dream), and it was only then did it register IN MY BRAIN that it was snowingggos. no wonder im so lag in shooting. 10 go already huang4 away already then i register the 10 AND SHOOT AT THE WRONG TIME. im so proud of myself =.= the best thing is that im CONSCIOUS that the im not shooting properly.and then we were stoning at ppl playing with snowthen suddenly there was this hailstone storm or somethinglike suddenly opp my room got construction site (in real life its just flats), and then these foreign workers got killed by hailstones.ok not hailstones. actually it was just flying pieces of MUDOMG VERY BIG flying pieces of mud.and then it hit the foreign workers and they just die. on the spot. like. 'piak' die.the feeling damn ominous!after that everyone started running into my room for cover and we are like TRYING TO CLOSE THE WINDOWS with all ourstrength.i do not know why we did not lock the windows in my dream (come to think of it pressing the window like that is kind of retarded) and like there were strangers all over in my small room and my sofa bed DISAPPEARED and we were all trying to desperately close the windows.HAHA geniusthen it all turned out to be futile cause the flying pieces of mud were too strong, and so we hid under shaking tables and chairs. the wind was freaky i mean. wind that is strong enough to make large pieces of mud fly. strong right?! so everything was flying about in my room and it was like. end of the world.it really felt like MY ROOM, my HOUGANG neighbourhood was getting invaded by crazy flying pieces of mud HAHAyah its retarded i know but if you were in the dream you would probably freak out too.it felt like the happeningyou know? those of you who have watched it before probably know the feeling.YAH THAT FEELING.lol im still blabbering im getting really concerned about myself.AHHHok yah thats the end of my dream.i rmb the last thing i did was go under my table (i was hiding) and pull out the plug for all the switches.i dno why i did that in the dream. i think its because my dad keeps warning my about my plugs every other day IN REAL LIFE. he's so worried that i'll set the house on fire one day =.=but seriously why must the last thing i do in my dream be PULLING OUT THE PLUGif it was the end of the world why the heck would i bother about my house being set on fire cause of the plug?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!lol.these crazy dreams should really stop. my pillows are in constant torture cause of these crazy dreams.i woke up today beside only two pillows. ok i was sleeping on one of them. so only ONE pillow was beside me.the other 3 were on the floor, and two were obviously thrown about my bed cause they were nowhere near my head (relatively speaking)my poor bolster flew in front and landed in front of the dressing table.imba~i actually managed to believe that the earth would end with flying pieces of mud killing everybody.wow.ok i think i should really stop blabberingim still worried about my training its so screwed.UGH i need divine intervention. HAHA-edits- i really didnt know that i can blabber this much. i only started off with the intention of complaining about my shitty trainings :sAND. zijin's arms are REAL LONG. when she spreads her arms they cover the entire LENGTH of the nyshooting range window panel. WOW.training in 16 hours. OMINOUS. :s id rather have flying pieces of mud than horrible trainings
