why issit that everytime i come back im unhappy. sometimes i really wonder if its really my problem.. ya know you really. really. rock. =[ ive tried talking to you about other stuff. stuff which are much more interesting than just matching numbers and grades to subject titles. ive tried. k. ive tried.
eening. i dont think the walk helped at all cause no matter how slowly we walked i still ended up back here. =[[ really really unhappy now ='[[ i dont know. everytime i come here screaming about a problem i end with "life is screwed and we all have no choice but to move on" but yeah. my life is really screwed.
and many dont understand that do they? this is frustrating. want scream cannot scream. want cry cannot cry. want die cannot die. want run cannot run. oh and guess wad. i now have ZEROPERCENT of making it for the trip. so. -applause- =.=
but i guess shooting's the best thing thats happened to me. other than the miracle in august-september. i may not know many ppl there.. but just seeing them lifts my spirits so so high! xDDDD you know its like we're so used to seeing them around and training like everyone else. then when you leave and study and mug for eoys and come back you still see them there, doing the same thing, wearing the "same" clothes, with the same hair and yah. haha... its like nothing has changed.. heartwarming feeling.. one day i wish i can be friends with everyone there.. that would be nice.. haha i think at this point ppl are thinking "wth is she thinking ah siao zha bo.." but really! quite nice the feeling. and then got the safra smell. the first thing you do when you are returning to safra after a long time, is to stand at the main main main entrance, open the door, FEEL THE AIRCON and then take a deep breath and SMELL THE SAFRA SMELL. makes me soooooooo happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
another thing which makes me soooo "heartwarmed" is listening to LI SHENG JIE!!!!!!!!!! he's like. can be my uncle. but still! his voice is.. =]] makes you sad ok nvm.. i think if i were gonna die right.. i would really really want to die with his song playing in the background, in the cafe, or in my head. unless of course i die a dramatic death and someone else (i dunno who) is trying to talk to me and be strong and that im gonna make it through. then of course i cannot be thinking of lishengjie right.. heh other than that.. no denglijun.. no jaychou.. no taoze.. JUST LI SHENGJIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
then theres the emo bang1 that i created which makes me happy! consists of emo looking guys including: yanyalun (yaduh), zaizai(in liuxinghuayuan AND shenqingmima) and PRINCE!wangziiiiii they just have the emo look k. the nice nice emoo look haha! zijin knows the zhaopai emo stance that i like!!!!!!!!!! haha ok..
going out with my friends make me happy. eening zijin and gang and prigdamily and lag and the hsbcgang. at least LAG understands who i really amm. ALL of them..just that they dont say.. i feel the love! lag forever.. <33333333333333333333333 haha.. im nice, right? =pp ok i am lor..
other than that.. emo thoughts on buses and when im alone and sleepless nights are really really haunting. they're like. everywhere. sigh..
im getting sick! =[[ was sniffing away during training come home eat panadol STILL sniffing. still wasting tissue.. eyes STILL watering i think if i go shenyang i will get blown by the wind and my nose will be running and running and running speaking of the wind. i have this image wich keeps playing in my mind those who watched the liangjingru ning2 xia4 mv will know
you know at the petrol station in the mv? where the friends stand in one row eating ice cream with a very very stone look on their face. then wind blow.. their face still very stone? and then they stone at the petrol price which is like increasing and increasing.. yup that scene. i keep imagining that at the shenyang airport right. the thirteen of us will stand in one row. then have a very very stone look on our face. the same stone look in the mv. then when the wind blow.. the next scene only left the luggage on the floor. then we flying flying in midair. HAHAHAHAHAHA xDDDDD haha ok if you dont have my imagination then you will "huh?" so yah lol i really scared i -phew- get blown off.. =/
havent packed. ohwells. eh dont you guys think the SINGAPORE weather is freeaky.. SO COLDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD like brr cold. im gonna wrap up in my comforter and look like a turtle. sooooooooooooooooooo comfy haha. plus my four pillows and bolster and COWCOW!!!!!!!! theres a reason why my bed not single bed... wouldnt be able to survive =O
you know ive been going about random stuff but i WANTED to say something that was quite the main point of this post. then. aiya i think those who know me well will know what happened to the "something" =/ i forgot. YES ZIJIN AND EENING i know.. AGAIN right.. eh i really dno leh i very off lor.. cannot rmb =xxx
anw.. after the longlong walk with eening today.. i have decided.. to say.. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to all my nicenicetruetruefriends. <333333333 feel the shIIng love. xDD btw im not scary so you dont always have to stick to hellos and byebyes you know? =]
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