you know wad.just those two minutes of talking to u got me thinking all the way home.im not frustrated. not angry. not disappointed. but kinda sad. hmm maybe i guess im feeling INSULTED回家吃饭？比训练重要？thats not exactly wad u saidi thought about it so much i cant rmb what u said exactly.but roughly thats what u saidi know its gonna get out somehow.i dont even know who might be even reading this blog but i dont even care right now.i'll prob guess how it would have leaked out to you anwyup fine.eating with my brother for dinner might not exactly be the most impt thing to do if YOU compare it to winning some freaking medals? or training harder because my standard crapped up.maybe you just need to look at it from my view lah huh.妈妈煮饭是吧？没有。她不在。去文莱？嗯。那驾车出去吃？就你爸爸驾车带你们吃？嗯。一顿饭？嗯。－silence－haha...dont even know why im laughing.maybe u just dont understand righthowoften can your brother book out or army?and decide to eat a DECENT dinner with you and not go out with his friends for ONCE.and decide to have a nice dinner after like. ages.lets think.and PROB decide not to quarrel with you tonightfine. maybe we really wont talk muchcause he's like intro and im extro.nvmat least he bothers to eat with me right. maybe we wont even talk tonight. but at least we dont quarrel gettit?its not really often i get to eat with him. and even less often to eat something decent.for ages i have been eating zhi cai fan everyday.fine la u eat pao mian, drink nutritious milk and eat fancai without the fanthats worse than mebut.having a nice meal. after all the bread and fancai crap.id be very contented.more happy. that i ate a decent meal with my brother.talking to you really makes me think of my mum and brunei.hah......homecooked food. something ive not had since february.unless u call frying an egg and cooking campbells soup/maggie mee homecooked.then yah ive been having homecooked food about every other day.my ahma's beehoon? nope. mummy's pork porridge which i really got tired of eating? nopeahyi' spaghetti? nope.for the past few months its just be fan cai fan cai.now i really miss my mum's porridge.the one she used to cook for me every other night during nationals last year.it'd still be hot no matter how late i reach home thoughand id eat it all up, willingly and hungrily, or sian-ningly.then i would go up to batheand look at korkor's closed room door.hah...........at least i knew he was there behind the door.well i think few ppl would even understand what im saying or feeling right nowtheyd just pass it as being emo and all.but i know zijin eening and a few others would understand if they read iti know they do.haha..... how pathetic.my life revolves around shooting studying and other stuff.i do eat alot but i dont enjoy eating the stuff i eat.meepok. fan cai. kfc. macs. even pizza hut.id stop all of that for one month just to have mummy's pork porridge or ahma's beehoon.for so many times i have felt like throwing all my books and certs into one pile and burn them all togetherto just heck and shoot 8s throughout the whole competitionand to just pack five sets of clothing, two sets of pjs and fly straight to brunei life here is just so sickeninga student's life in singapore really sucks.haha....im not gonna listen to you this timeu said to at least let you see my dong zuo before i gothanks for telling me that just before i step out of safra.stood there for two hours and you say that to me.fine la u were busy with other schools.i dont really care that much anymore. i guess youd know why i dont.if u had not let me go home here now and eat with my brother and just ask me to draw the gun and wear my suit againi would have just stared at you, then thank you and walk out of safra.cause i know that even if i bao my gun and u BOTHER to look at me. youd probably just press it down talk to me and the whole thing will only last for half a minuteid rather sit down at the same freaking table and have dinner with my father and my brothercause im pretty sure i would appreciate that ten thousand times more.my life does not revolve around trophies and certs.i know what i want and i will try to get wad i want.give me a break.ive been shooting since sunday huh.thank you so muuch.ohyahthank you for your training schedule too. we're very grateful for that.<3333333.if you couldnt tell from my eyes today. i think id make a very bad actress.if you couldnt tell that i WILL ONLY listen to you circumstancially. then. haha too badi realised how crazy i was over shooting last yearhow it brought me to successbut.its different this yearim still crazy over shooting cause i ENJOY it with or without you but dont expect me to be so innocent already lah yah?=.=and i wasnt lying when i said i was coming home to have mini reunion dinner with my family.ok.i didnt come home to sleep.as much as i wanted to.IDIDNT.lie.see how your two minutes of sentences affected me?btw.校际比赛要来了。嗯。i AM serious about nationals. if again you had a misconception.wellwhether or not this will get to you i really dont care.cause i know it might reach you in a twisted way but its ok.im well aware of what im saying anw.im gonna have my dinner with MYbrother and MY father now.i'll say it one more time.i do not think that having 3more hours of training is more impt than having dinner with my family.get the msg?if the three hours would really affect me so much.then id train six ANOTHERTIME. not now.CRAP YOU. waste my two minutes and all the time spent thinking on the bus ride home. maybe i should just not try and look at things from your point of view anymore.then these things would be so much easier to understand.im sick of this shhhit. TERMINATED.
